How To Attract Your Perfect Partner, Part I

As promised, in honour of Valentine’s Day next weekend, here is the first of the 3 part series on attracting your perfect mate, using my own personal example.  In my post about Switzerland, I mentioned how my first marriage had ended and I ended up living abroad for over 2 years. While I was away, I met lots of interesting men, but it is very hard to date when you are constantly changing jobs and doing seasonal work. I did try a long distance relationship, ironically with someone living in Canada, without much success. When I moved back to Ontario in Sept 2006, I was once again trying to hang on to a long distance relationship, although this time I was the one living in Canada. That didn’t work very well either.  I knew that I wanted to find my life partner though, so I didn’t give up hope.

The first time I watched The Secret was in Oct 2006.  This was before it became a world-wide movement.  It had a pretty big impact on me, and it was the beginning of a life transforming journey for me. One of the lessons I learned was about being specific about what it is that you want, just like picking from a catalogue.  This seemed like a very good idea to me. In March 2007, I was dealing with some personal challenges and needed to spend some time away, alone, in order to have the space I needed to find some clarity and direction. I packed up my very used car and drove to the Poconos, alone. In retrospect, maybe not the best idea I have ever had, but my parents had given me their timeshare for a week and I needed to be alone.  Ever had that feeling?

I brought along 9 books (all self-development, except 1) and my journal.  No laptop or cell phone, not even TV or movies.  I spent 5 days walking in nature, building fires, meeting complete strangers, reading and writing in my journal.  I took notes on the books I read and I made long lists of all of the things I wanted in my life.  Part of that list included what I was looking for in a partner.  What I did was take all of the things that had not worked in my previous relationships, and asked for the opposite.  I was fairly specific too, right down to “I want a partner who is between 5’10″ and 6’2″ tall, with dark hair and blue eyes”.  I filled 5 pages of my journal with my “order”.

When I came home from the trip, refreshed and renewed, I put the journal aside and rarely looked at it.  What I did do was occasionally I would imagine my dream house (yes, I know every single detail of what it looks like) with my partner and our kids.  I could never really see his face clearly, but he was tall, with dark hair and for some reason, always wearing a white shirt. I had read somewhere that time doesn’t really exist and that everything in our lives really happens at the same time, just on a different plane. So I used to imagine our life together, happening right now, just on a different plane. I had fun with it, and I didn’t really worry about it.

In November of 2007, I took the next step in order to bring my partner into my life …. Stay tuned for Part II!

Are you with your perfect partner? Do you have a wonderful love story to share?